THE PAINS OF MTN'S WHO WANTS TO BE A MILLIONAIRE

The one-hour, multi-aired, family-friendly programme –Who Wants to be a Millionaire- a MTN concept, has undoubtedly set out to garnish the standard of living of average Nigerians who are loyal subscribers of the South Africa-owned telecommunication service provider. The telecoms giant purportedly embarked on the T.V. quiz game show to stamp its Corporate Social Responsibility, CSR, by helping their fast-growing subscribers in the society who they think deserve to be millionaires by bringing them on set and play the quiz game for ten million naira, with three available life lines: Call a Friend, Ask the Audience and Fifty-Fifty, whereby computer deletes two wrong options (out of four) and leaving only two options for the player to choose the correct answer. It is locally-viewed (STV, NTA, AIT, etc) every Fridays and Saturdays from 8pm to 9pm.

Although MTN give cheques to winners every week, Nigerians (subscribers) are indirectly the unofficial cum unmentioned sponsors of the 12-year-old programme because (with every degree of certainty) MTN’s profit continually rises to the ceiling from this game show. According to reports (nairaland.com), MTN gulp up N1.665 billion weekly, N6.660 billion monthly and N79.920 billion annually, excluding proceedings made from promos.

In a much grimmer vein, the calculated “looting” is carried out via the Home-Play segment of Who Wants to be a Millionaire, where an estimate of 33.3 million MTN customers are asked to send an SMS each for N100. At least quarters 8,325,000 lose their money weekly to nothingness. It can be easily predicted that the programme might go down the doldrums in the absence of the weekly “contributions” from millionaire-wanna-bes, average Nigerians. In some situations (such as this), even the wisest man could act the goat.

In the words of Frank Edoho, presenter of the programme: “MTN is using Who Wants to be a Millionaire T.V game show as a platform to give back to the Nigerian society nationwide and help loyal subscribers achieve their dreams and goals in life, which has to do with financial need…”. The validity of this statement is another focal point for this discourse.

Apparently more disheartening is the fact that some viewers do know that the in-house audience programme is not a live programme as it appears to look. It is a rehearsed, recorded and edited programme. So what better explanation could one get for a mad rush of unsuspecting Nigerians who strive to participate in the N100-billed, SMS-sending segment of a recorded programme aired on different stations at different hours. Nigerians tend to make wishes everyday, not minding whether it is attuned to reality or not. We are always eager and prepared to play dice with the devil.

As observed every week, when a qualified contestant finally makes it to the hot seat (a la miracle), in a fever-pitched crescendo, he plays for N10 million, hopefully, when he thinks everything seem to be going smoothly, but half-way, before you say Jack Robinson, MTN throws a curveball of unthinkable question at his budding millionaire dream. Albeit the double-edged question on the lips of every right-thinking Nigerian is: Where are the remaining billions of naira? Is the programme truly a charity programme? Its high time MTN stopped defrauding subscribers under the guise of CSR and Public relations. Almost is nothing, if you must help, do it with no strings attached. Why give with the right hand and collect with the left?

Conclusively, it can be safely argued that when we only scratch the surface, we would submit that Who Wants to be a Millionaire is quite informative, educative and a financial life-support machine. But the tones of smiles on the subscriber’s face can be increased if less charges are demanded from participants in our earn-to-spend society. This will go a long way to reduce the gamut of unsavoury issues rising against the T.V. programme, improve operating environment and also win more customers easily.

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REMEMBER ABDULMUTALLAB, THE FIRST NIGERIAN TERRORIST UNVEILED?

TERRORISM-AT-LARGE

When I first stumbled on the pathetic news in the national dailies, I was breathless and deeply shocked to the bone marrows. The borrowed paper almost fell from my grip and beads of sweat started forming on my forehead (inside my air-conditioned office). I kept staring at the boldly carved headline for a moment before curiously jumping into the body. What amused me most was the irony that a well-educated, rich, meek and easy-going Nigerian youth could attain the height of a turbid 21st century suicide-bombing terrorist! A total disservice to the nation and a heinous result of presumed absolute parental negligence and prolonged loneliness. At last, we have successfully advanced from cyber crimes, drug pushing, forgery, fraud and corruption to international terrorism. We have finally booked a space in the big black books of the no-nonsense Mr. Obama, kudos to the helmsman himself the much-dreaded Osama Bin Laden(yet another feather to his cap), and his dissentingly destructive Al-Qaeda (The Base) philosophy birthed in 1988.

Nevertheless, quite a number of informed Nigerians may not be too surprised about the tragic incident, considering the general ideology that we have been nurturing terrorist-like groups like the Boko Haram in this nation, since God-knows-when, all in the name of Allah? Majority of our turban-wearing, long bearded Islamic leaders should not bother to pretend as if they are not accustomed or practically related to the terrorism syndrome. The compass of terrorism is obviously pointing towards the Northern region. Like father like son! The earlier Nigerians face the bitter reality that Mutallab is only a chip off the old block, the better for all of us. 

To say the home truth, though with mixed feelings, we are effortlessly trying to disown and deny the busted terrorist as if he was not born on the Nigerian soil. The media even went ahead to say the “poor boy” only spent his primary school days in Nigeria. But the ultimate question remains, is he a Nigerian or not? The true lie is that we are all pointing accusing fingers because the news is unsavoury. Surely, the case would have been different if the media had announced him as a celebrity or an academic giant who just made a great scientific discovery. I’m dead sure that his retired father would be the first to beat his chest and say “that’s my boy’’. Just recently, Osama, who claimed responsibility for the terror act, called Mutallab a hero despite the fact that the fatal operation turned out to be a failed attempt, corroborating what a professor once told me that “those who take heroic stunts may not live to enjoy the shower of praises”. 

According to one of the lucky victims who bravely prevented “our son” from detonating the weapon of mass destruction, Mutallab was shedding tears and looking very morose. It was due to this signal that the passengers suspected that something was in the offing. Come to think of it, what took him so long to detonate the underpants bomb? And why was he crying? Could it be that the poor boy still cherished his life and was very scared to lose it? Maybe he was even cajoled into taking up the suicidal contract, without the mercy to pause and rethink that he might eventually get more than what he had initially bargained for. 

No doubt, his prosecution is a done deal, like an egg that has fallen to the ground, though his rich dad had sought the services of the best legal advocates (or Baba Alawos of our land). It would only be a mere waste of resources because we are actually dealing with Great America. It would be a great loss to his people and Nigeria as a whole if this misguided Nigerian is (certainly) being executed for the most unpardonable offence in the world. We should also be mindful of the fact that terrorism has finally gained a steady ground in Nigeria. The February 8th edition of TELL Magazine revealed that Al-Qaeda is offering to train Nigerian youths who are ready to fight for the course of Islam. This goes a long way to show the threatened state of our national security, coupled with the president’s long absence from office. The masses are being fed with various blatant speculations, and I continue to wonder if Nigerian reporters don’t know the way to Saudi Arabia. With bated breath, we all anticipate the arrival of Mr. President from Saudi Arabia, amidst perceived repositioning of the presidential seat; we can sense trouble in the brewing. 

 In every wise, there is no perfect happiness in this world; we only have doses of it. Instead of lamenting over spilled milk, we should be more concerned about what prompted young Mutallab to dabble into the terrorists’ clique. It won’t be patriotic to throw the proverbial baby away with the bath water. We should also take pains to critically re-examine the possible societal causes and aftermath of such horrid incident on the bilateral dealings between Nigeria and the United States of America. The sudden ordainment of Nigeria as a terrorist nation expectedly led to the inclusion of our dear country on the terror watch list (despite all the noise about rebranding) of America and the increment of American visa fees by 100 per cent, not to talk of the re-evaluation of visa issuance, is an indication of a once-juicy relationship turning sour. Even our power brokers can no longer enjoy the usual VIP treatment at the airports. It is even more worrisome that those that will receive the most blows (scapegoats) and a bigger portion of “punishment” are Nigerians residing abroad. Some of them will even be forced to board the next available fight home when the going gets discriminately tough. 

To put to paper, the Jpnathan-led administration has a backlog of national cum international assignments begging to be attended to. Without putting square pegs in round holes, something needs to be urgently done to salvage our ailing economy from international stigmatization and amendment of our almost-shattered relationship with angry America. The heart-tearing story of AbdulMutallab should serve as a deterrent to our fast-learning youths and remind them of the saying “charity begins at home”

MEET YOUR FIRST LADY

15 Things You Did Not Know About Patience Jonathan

Posted by: Information Nig.

She is older than President Goodluck Jonathan. Okay, calm down, not what you are thinking. She was born in Port Harcourt on the 25th October 1957 while the don himself was born on 20th November, 1957. Ok, just like a month.

2. She holds a National Certificate of Education (NCE) in Mathematics & Biology from the Rivers State College of Education and later bagged a degree from University of Port Harcourt (UNIPORT) in Biology & Psychology. She passed WASSCE in 1980, long before many of her haters were born. Ok, no lele. Let’s ride on.

3. Although she started out as a teacher at Stella Maris College in Port Harcourt (HajMari, where are you o?), she later veered briefly into the banking sector, establishing Akpo Community Bank in 1997, the first of its kind in Port Harcourt, and later served as the Marketing Manager of Imieto Community Bank.

4. According to Baridah Job Karabah, a former houseboy, her nickname back in the days was ‘Mama Ice Cream’ (and that of the President was simply ‘Oga Joe’ ). Ice cream ke? Yes, and that was because she used to cool (abi na freeze…lol) ice cream in her large deep freezers. The ice cream is then later distributed for sale. He says business was ‘booming’ for her then. President Jonathan was at that time, a senior lecturer at the Rivers State College of Education. And yes, she had a poultry too at the same time. Quite industrious I’d say.

5. In September 2012, she was awarded a honorary degree by the Delta State University, Abraka despite the fact that she was not in the country at that time. She was said to have gone to Germany but she denied going there for any treatment. Worefa.

6. She hails from Oba-Ama Community in Okrika, a port town in Rivers State. It is known as a base for the sale of second-hand clothes, and the name Okrika for those of us very familiar with ‘Bend Down Select’ and ‘Tokunbo’ clothes is an attestation to that. Omo, I can never forget the delightful smell of Okrika clothes…lol! The belief then, and even maybe now is that they are even better than ‘original’ and brand new clothes. Next!
7. Her maiden name is OBA. As in, she was once Miss Patience Oba.

8. Miss Oba later met her lecturer while she was a student at the Rivers State College of Education (now Rivers State University of Education, Rumuolumeni). Her lecturer then was with the Department of Biological Sciences (he taught her biology, oh, I love that course die! Don’t ask me why!), and one thing led to the other, they both fell in love. Today, the rest is history and that Mr. Lecturer of yesterday now rules the most populous black nation on earth. You still don’t know him? Go get yourself a black fedora hat! Hear her:

”We first met at the Rivers State College of Education, Port Harcourt where I was a student. He was my Biology lecturer.Later; he left for university of Port Harcourt to pursue his PhD.

We met again at the University of Port Harcourt when I went for undergraduate degree. That was where our relationship began. He took interest in me because I was a brilliant and smart student.

It was love at first sight on his part. But it never crossed my mind that it would lead to a serious relationship. My first impression of him was ‘this tall, dark, hansome young man”.

Further interaction with him also revealed that he came from a good Christian home just like I did. His humble and gentle disposition caught my attention and most importantly, his intelligence.”

9. She says she still cooks for her husband and even goes to Utako Market (Abuja people, wey una dey?) to buy ingredients for soup. O ga ju!

10. Her hobbies? You bet! Reading, writing, travelling and oh yeah, swimming!

11. She holds many traditional titles, some of which are:
-Odadigba of Otuoke Kingdom, meaning the Ladder of Success.
-Unume Wheshi Ekpeye 1 of Ekpeye Kingdom in Rivers State.
-Yeye Obateru of Owu Kingdom, Ogun State, means the Wife of He Who Shares the King’s Burden.
-Yeye Ohun Orun of the Source of Ife Kingdom, Osun State, meaning the Wife of the Voice of the Heavens.
-Ada Di Oha Mma of Ukpo Kingdom (Daughter of the People of Ukpo). Okay, I think that is enough for now. Nigerians and titles sha.

12. She bears the title ‘Dame’ as she was honoured with the Knighthood of the Anglican Church.

13. Her marriage with the President is blessed with two children: a cheeky boy, Ariwera Adolphus Jonathan and a beautiful girl, Aruabi Jonathan. Click the link below to see all pictures.

14. Like others before her, she also has a non-governmental organization, named the A. Aruera Reachout Foundation and is said to focus on the needy, the poor and the destitute, with particular emphasis on women and children. According to the Foundation, it has trained over 2,000 women in the last eight years. Some of the things her Foundation also did was to foot the N1.8 million naira bill for an operation in India for a girl with a hole in the heart (septal defect) and Jubril Mohammed Hussein, a 9-year-old boy who was also flown out for treatment for his heart disease. Zainab Musa Garba, a twin, was diagnosed with a heart condition and needed N3 million naira for treatment, the Dame also footed her bills. Zainab’s mother teaches at the Federal Government College, Maiduguri while the dad is a retired civil servant. That’s a good one or what do you think? Same goes for Tobi Peters, an 11-year-old boy, three-month-old Peculiar Owodu and others (now over 30 kids). You can watch the video here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=ADN7iGqzb6s
Well, I had to point that out because Nigerians seem to be carried away by her speeches as if we are all professors of English ourselves. By the way, I am assuming that her Foundation derived its name from her two kids: ARU-abi and Ariw-ERA. At any rate, it’s an assumption.

15. She is currently engaged in a tussle with the former First Lady, Turai Yar’adua over a plot of land in the Federal Capital Territory. That’s what I call the vanity of power and inanity of authority. By the way, I promise to tell you the meaning of her middle name ‘Faka’ once I get it. I’ve been trying to, but nothing yet.

Thanks for your time.
Iyaniwura.